...DAY ONE.

"She is the queen of poison."

Oned continues to mutter to himself as he turns the corner of the shopping center. He has dressed himself with pants, a shirt, and leather overcoat, all black... in his pocket, a broken crucifix.

"They're all fucking against us. I am God's warrior, and I will defend his name." Oned spits as he enters a crowded K-Mart.

He walks to the clothing section and selects a white t-shirt. Back in line he waits. He gazes at the cashier. She has the mark, on her forehead, under her skin. She is the one who worships the beast!

"Hey Ironghost, you sure this is the place?"
"Sodium, for the last time, I am POSITIVE. Now kick in the door."

Smooth is sitting in a strip bar, at a table next to the stage. On the stage is Sargon's mother, doing her pathetic dance.

Smooth gets up and (probaly because of all the rum and cokes) and kicks her knees in. As she falls to the floor in pain as he cuts her finger off with his butterfly knife. As she passes out he sticks the finger in her snatch.

"Finger yourself on the way out, bitch!" Smooth declares.

My name is Prodigy, and I'm fucking pissed.

I sit in line at K-Mart, suave fashion accessories in tow. My mom always told me not to knock K-Mart, they had bargains there. Anyway, I'm in line and this clerk's taking fuck-all forever, right? So I do the typical mall in-line fidget. Checking my watch, seeing what other people bought, taking a look at magazine covers. I just got off work, so I'm still wearing my neon orange Bell Telecom technician's suit, bringing an undue amount of attention to myself (most likely on account of it being neon orange, I s'pose). So I pick up a magazine, and it's crap, but I'm gonna read it until the slow-ass clerk takes care of whatever the hell. Y'dig?

Oh yah, and a coffee maker too. That's what I got.

Then, three lines next to me (I vaguely recall), a guy starts to like, scream like a fuckin' idiot, y'know? I dunno, a bunch of religious shit. What d'you do? I bury my nose in the magazine, just taking a quick glimpse to see what's goin' on. So he's screamin' away, and then I notice he's got a gun. Like, right after he takes the run out and fucking, uh, caps the clerk over there, (who hadn't been taking a long ass time, which is a shame). So I'm "Whoah!" in my head, cause going "Whoah!" would get me killed, right? So he screams for every motherfucker to hit the floor, so I hit the floor.

So, um, He spends a good three or two minutes. Some lady starts screaming so he goes and caps her where she fucking... sits, I s'pose. So, everyone's trying their best to shut the fuck up. Cause, well, that lady ain't coming back here for a while, let me tell you! And I'm looking down at my belt and I see my walkie talkie thing. I never got around to finding out what it was called, so y'know. So, it's heavy. So, he turns around. I whisper to the guy next to me, I got an idea. He nods.

"Yo, fuckhead!"

Aw, that's just great. Now I'm dead.

Crazy man spins around. And hits the floor while my walkie talkie's breaking his nose for him. He drops the gun, so before he's quite got there, I smack his shoulders right into the fucking linoleum. There was this nasty ass snap n' crack noise, so he started screaming again. But there wasn't any god that would feel like fixing his arm for him, heh. My mom says I'm pretty clever sometimes. Then she's sad I'm a Bell Technician. Pay's not bad. So, anyways, the clerk who was so busy before is on the phone and calls the police while some of the less daring were congratulating me, giving me their um, accolades, if you will. Ahem.

So, home. I'm lookin' suave (ladies man, to be sure) in my K-mart gear. I'm fishing through my CD collection for something that doesn't suck. Cause the adrenalin from taking that guy down is like, still pumping. And it's 3 days later. So I put up the coffee machine, and I walk over to the sink, to get some water. I sit down at the couch, and see myself on TV. It's a strange thing to see yourself in two places at once, regardless of where. Y'know? My hands are sweaty, so I wash them.

A girl from the escort service arrives later, but something just isn't quite right about her.

The phone rings, probably to congratulate me or something. So I walk into the kitchen to get the portable phone. I pick it up. Then, I notice this weird smell in the background.

"Yellow."
"Hi, it's Jenny."
"Whoa! Hi there.. It's good to hear from you."
"Yeah, me too. I mean, it's good to hear from you too."
"I know. Um, hold a sec."

I start to play with the cord. Which leads you back to square one. So I'm shocked back, smacking into a kitchen wall. I think I was killed, like, instantly.

Mom was wrong. K-Mart *DOES* make crap.

"... Hello?"

"Hey Oned, what's up?"
"Fuck off."

Cash looks over at Cardiac Arrest, who is watching Oned stumble down the sidewalk. He enters a shopping mall across the street.

Cardiac mumbles, "He used to be an okay guy, but I guess he fell on some hard times. Poor Oned."

His companion, Cash, nods his head in agreement, and opens the door to Jack-In-The-Box.

The phone rings.

"This is The Silent Killer, hello?"
"Hey Tsk!"
"Sodium?"
"Hey man, did you hear what happened this morning?"
"What?"
"Me and Ironghost were like, involved, with this massive car chase!"
"I saw it on the news, that was you??"
"Yea!"
"What happened?"
"I really don't have time to explain, let's just say that im not to fond of pound ascii right now."

The Silent Killer starts to play with the cord.

"Uh... okay."
"By the way, did you hear that they found Prodigy dead?"
"No shit? What happened?"
"He was like playing with a cord and it blew up or something."

He stops.

"Look Sod, Pinguino is on the other line, I gotta go."
"Yea. Whatever."

"How the fuck can you put mustard on everything?" Cardiac asks.

Cash stops and looks at his hamburger.

"What the hell is wrong with that?"
"It's fucking disgusting. Why do you do it?"
"It helps it slide down better.. fuck I don't know. I just like it."
"Gotta be the grossest thing I've ever seen."

Cash looks at Cardiac. He is eating an Ultimate Cheeseburger. Two patties of beef with cheese and a bun. Nothing more.

"You jackass, it ain't half as disgusting as your Ultimate fucking Cheeseburger."
"What?"
"Look, my Jumbo Jack has got meat, pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, mayo.."
"...A fucking gallon of mustard..."
"Will you shut the fuck up, don't interrupt me, yea.. and mustard. The Ultimate Cheeseburger has bread, two things of meat and a piece of cheese to hold it together. I swear you've got to be the only person in this shithole town that eats one of those."
"Stop judging me by what I ea..."

Cardiac is interrupted by the sound of machine gun fire.

"What in God's name?" Cash raises his voice.

A seventy three dodge flies by the resturant at a speed excess one hundred and ten miles per hour. A fleet of motorcycles and additional automobiles is in close pursuit.

"Doesn't Sodium drive that kind of dodge?"
"Yea, but I doubt it's him. He's not that kind of guy."
"News flash, he's a hired killer."
"Well Quab is a bank robber but you don't see him with eight cars chasing him around the city!"
"Maybe Sodium just sucks as a hitman."
"Probaly."

Alone sit Retribution and Bludwulf.

As Ret and Blud are about to find another corner in the club they hear a loud police siren, they run but Ret loses his shoe! He has to find it, it is from his collection of high-priced pumps.

"Ret, no!" screams Bludwulf!

"Blud! Run! Save Yourself!" was all Ret can say before the pigs drive up and throw him in their cop car by his erect penis.

Why was it erect? Nobody knows.

Okay losers. It's me, Bludwulf. So I'm sitting here in my room watching some #ansi fags talk about manson and satan and shit.

I've got outkast on, so I'm in a good mood. I'm wondering where the fuck ewheat is, and no one else is on.

So I call up E-Rage, and he's like, "Yea, no one's on today".

So I hang up on him and call Justin so we can go pick up chicks.

It's friday night, and we're at skate king where everyone hangs out. It's sorta boring, so me and the chicks and Justin decide to go outside. I don't smoke, I'm not some straight-edge lamer or nothing, it's just that three fourth's of the people in my family older than my mom have died of lung cancer. So they're smoking and shit, this cop comes up to us, he's like...

"Raise your hand if your over 18"

And of course, no one is..

So he starts bitching at us about smoking at skate king and shit. Then we start bitching at him, and he goes away. What a miracle. Then some other cops start following us, so we run. Yea.. That'ss not suspicious.

I got some flowers in my backpack because my ex-girlfriend was going to dump her lamer boyfriend and I was going to ask her out again.. Bah..

Anyways..

I go over to Napalm Death's house and let the chicks get smoked out. Napalm Death is playing with the txt2speech shit I sent him, that he owes me an ansi for. Me and Napalm Death decide to go to Quab's house.

"Hey guys, I just busted out of jail!"
"Yea right, Quab."

The three of us head back to skate king.

Quab is looking sorta twisted, like he inhaled a four inch crackrock. Napalm Death and I walk over to this fire hydrant to talk about Quab, who's like looking at us suspicously.. We decide to kick the living shit out of him and tie his ass up. We turn around to grab him, but he rips off his shirt and his whole body is covered with dynomite!

Napalm Death turns to me and says "For fucks sake! Quabs gonna blow up skate king!"

So I smack him, because I figured it out two minutes ago. Quab takes out an AK-47 and blows the shit out of all the cops. He throws a cobalt grenade in to the cop car, and it explodes, littering the parking lot with fingers and toes and eyeballs and teeth.

I walk up to Quab, and he's chanting "Give me sex, Give me Sex..."

He walks in to skate king and goes to the DJ booth, where he says

"Oh hey Brain, long time no see."
Brain is like, "Oh shit, it's that crazy motherfucker Quab, what can I do for you?"
"Just tell everyone to get the fuck off the rink, except the fine chicks, and announce my demands: 1. I get to fuck all the fine girls. 2. Uhm. the cops give me donuts and shit."
"Sure dude."

So Quab walks out on to the rink, with his mad dynomite skills.

"Fuck me! Fuck me hard!"

All the fine chicks are like "Ewwww.."

Quab screams "What bitch?! What bitch?!"

He gets so mad he drops the detonator and blows the fucking shit out of himself. About this time, me and Napalm Death are out at seven eleven with the chicks. We fuck them. It's all good.

Retribution finds himself in the police station. Who is this man that Ret finds sitting in front of him? He is 3'9", blonde hair, has pink eyes and is carying around a teddy bear. The child splits in half and out pops a midget with a recorder in his hand,

"I take it you heard about Prodigy's death?"
"Yes sir.."
"Where were you?"
"I was giving him a freebie, and for some reason he didn't like me, maybe it was the dress.. anyway the phone rang and he was electricuted."
"I don't like your dress.. Do you have a penis?"

Retribution decides to tell the truth, "Yes.."

"In the jail with the rest of your kind, you make me sick!"

Retribution calls the man a "dumb midget," and was thrown into jail. There he meets a guy named Quab. Retribution notices what a pretty name it is and tries coming onto Quab.

"Back off man," hollars Quab, "Get the fuck away from me, freak!"

Quab immediately screams at the guard to come at get Retribution away from him. When the guard arrives Quab quickly pulls out his sharpened wooden spoon.

"What the hel.."

But it was too late, Quab sticks the bladed end of the handle into the poor man's eye, spearing his brain.

Minutes later Quab has the keys and is free, along with Retribution.

Spear limps up to Killa Hertz.

"Get our bikes." Spear orders.
"What's going on?" Killa Hertz asks as he rolls two harley's out of an open garage door.
"We're going after Sodium and Ironghost. They pulled their guns on us."
"Shit? Anyone die?"
"Don't get me started. Here take this."

Spear hands Killahertz a forty five with a laser scope.

"It's going to be hard to aim while on these but do your best. You can kill Ironghost but Sodium is mine."

"Hey! What the hell?"

Ironghost aims his colt forty five and fires.

"Arghhh!"

Skatter's lifeless body falls to the ground, blood oozing out of the hole torn just above his heart.

"You idiot! You just killed Skatter! We were supposed to knock off those crazy 'blade nation' militia members." Sodium curses.

"Well I thought Belial lived here. Anyways, let's go find Mindcrime and Kiwi." Ironghost sighs.

Suddenly across the hallway a door opens up and Natureboy sticks his head out.

"Holy shit! Those two dudes just killed some guy!"

Sodium whips out an assault rifle from behind his back and sprays the hallway. Natureboy is hit fourteen times in the chest and dies instantly.

"Oh christ! What address is this, Ironghost?"
"4431 Elite Blvd."
"There's a pound ascii meet going on in that other room!"
"Shit! Those guys are dangerous!"

And as if to prove the point, Mass Murderer, Necromancer, Empty, Meatpod, Black Jack, and Meggahertz storm out of the the open door all packing uzi's. They fire away.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Editor's Note: Empty is being a bitch and complaining that he dies too fast in this scene so I am going to give him something to do.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Empty runs over to the window and aims his uzi at the street. He holds down the trigger and sends twenty bullets into a car windshield. This car happens to be the Acid Limo which Panacea has stolen. The bullets smash into and through the windshield puncturing Panacea's vital organs.

Ironghost thrusts out his double barrel shotguns and squeezes off two rounds. Empty's head explodes and both of Meatpod's legs fall to the floor.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" yells Meatpod.

Sodium mows down the remaining ascii artists with his assault rifle. Mass Murderer and Black Jack slump over each other while Meggahertz gurgles blood as he dies from a neck wound.

"Aieee!" screams Necromancer as three bullets tear through his chest.
"Shit man, let's beat it." Ironghost yells from the stairwell.

Enigmatic, Insight, Drax, Messiah, Compumang, Snowy, and Spear quickly emerge from behind the pile of dead doodleboys. From a black scabbard, Spear pulls out a german broadsword.

"Prepare to die, Mutherfuckers!" He screams.

Suddenly a door opens and Necronite calls out, "I'm going to call the police! You're all in big trouble!"

Ironghost who is near the door slips a hunting knife from a hidden scabbard on his leg. Creeping against the wall he goes unnoticed until he spins around in front of a shocked Necronite.

"No, wait!"

But it is too late. Ironghost thrusts the knife into Necronite's left eyeball. In his death throes, he does a jerky dance, then slides off the knife and slumps to the floor.

"Let's go!" Sodium hollars.

The two hitmen quickly grab their guns and run out the fire escape door. The pound ascii guys pick up the automatic machine guns left on the ground by their fallen comrades and take off in pursuit after them. Snowy is the first to reach the door. From the ground level Sodium puts fifty rounds into the door. Snowy falls into the arms of Compumang, looking like uncooked ground beef.

Meanwhile Maytrickz is macking with a really fine chick.

Sodium and Ironghost are running as fast as they can to their car, a seventy three Dodge Dart "Swinger". Enigmatic sprays the street killing hundreds including Maytrickz and the fine chick.

"Oops." Says Enigmatic.

As the pound ascii troops run by one of them suddenly gives off a gurgling death scream. Drax falls to the ground with a massive hole in the back of his neck.

"What the..?" yells Spear.

Spear scans the street. Sodium and Ironghost are already a block away. Nothing on the street except dead people and Maytrickz aiming a gun at his legs.

Spear suddenly turns to run but Maytrickz pulls the trigger and blows out Spear's kneecap.

"Augh! No No No!" Spear cries as he falls to the ground in pain.

Maytrickz aims the revolver at Enigmatic and fires. Enigmatic falls to his knees, blood dribbling from his mouth, and hits the pavement face first.

"That's for killing the fine chick." Maytrickz curses.

Maytrickz rolls over and dies, knowing that at least he avenged his own death, and that fine chick's too.

"Sodium told The Silent Killer what happened today."
"That's too bad for The Silent Killer. Find him. Kill him."

"That's it! I'm going to settle this once and for all!" Cash yells.

He reaches over to a startled Cardiac Arrest and pulls his face off. Underneath the Mister T. costume is a four foot nine white midget.

"You son of a bitch! I'll get you!" Cardiac Arrest screams.

Cardiac Arrest attempts to get up to choke out Cash but is too slow. Cash has already drawn his twenty two. He fires blowing Cardiac's jaw to pieces.

With two teeth Cardiac Arrest swears, "I'll kill you!"

Cash points the gun at Cardiac Arrest's shoulder and fires again. Cardiac Arrest's shoulder explodes into a mass of torn flesh. Shocked that Cardiac Arrest hasn't keeled over, Cash shoots him in the face. That does it. He falls to the ground bleeding everywhere.

Nulld the janitor runs up to Cash screaming "You bastard now I've got to clean this up!"

Cash spins and sends a bullet through Nulld's brain ending his life in an instant. Of course, by now the entire Jack In The Box is silent, everyone staring at Cash. Cash picks up the ultimate cheeseburger, takes a bite, and spits it out onto Cardiac Arrest's corpse.

"This is fun." Cash smiles.

Just for kicks, he pulls the trigger and puts a hole in Creator's back, who happened to be ordering a strawberry milkshake.

"Ugghhh..." Creator gurgles as he slides to the floor.
"Strawberry milkshake? What are you, a faggot?" Cash says.

Creator doesn't answer, for his already dead.

"Are you okay man?" Luke Skywalker asks as Spear rolls around on the sidewalk in pain.

"What's it look like dumbfuck?" Spear spits.

Spear picks up his broadsword and throws it into Luke Skywalker's belly. Pieces of his spinal cord and ribs punch out of his back.

Luke Skywalker, already falling backwards, is kicked by Spear with his good leg. He stumbles backwards and falls down a manhole.

"Auuuughhhhh..." he screams as his voice trails away.

Compumang and Messiah reach their cars, a silver Ford Escort and a red Honda Accord, idling in a Circuit City parking lot.

"Come on, he's heading west!" Compumang shouts.
"Where's Spear?" Messiah yells as he gets into his stolen Ford.
"Shit. I don't know. I'm gunna call Omicron cause he lives closeby and he owns an old police car." Compumang says.

He closes the door of his Accord, picks up his car phone, dials.

"Omicron?"
"No. Do you want me to get him for you?"
"Fuck yes. Hurry up"
"Up yours asshole."
"Suck my cock you bitch! Get Omicron on the phone!"
"Goto hell."

Compumang slams his head on the steering wheel in anger.

"Hey babe, whose on the phone." a voice in the background speaks.
"Omicron, is that you?"

The voice becomes louder.

"Yeah, it's me."
"It's Compumang. Shit, get in your car now. We need you."
"What? What happened?"
"Sodium and Ironghost tried to kill us. Took out most of us. Their fucking dead. We're following them right now."
"What kinda car they in?"
"Yellow Dodge, going west on Elite."
"Alright, I'm on my way."
"Word! I knew I could count on you."

Compumang hangs up the phone and steps on the gas.

"Fuck! Step on it!" Ironghost screams.

Ironghost leans out of the passenger side window and lets two rounds fly into the pursuing autos. Two of them slam into the windshield of Messiah's Ford Escort, shattering it. Messiah punches out the windshield shell with his fist.

Compumang speeds up to eighty miles per hour and slams into the back of Sodium's car. The force jerks Ironghost back and forces him to drop his weapon.

"Shit! I loved that gun. This fucker is gunna pay."

Meanwhile Wendel is cruising along on his sorry ass bike heading to his girlfriend's house for his daily fuck.

Ironghost reaches into the back seat and picks up his shotgun. He aims, and fires. The front left wheel on Compumang's car explodes throwing the car into the air and onto the side of the busy street.

"Augghh!" screams The Knight as he is flattened by the wreckage.

Compumang, his right arm in bad shape emerges from the ruins. Wendel coasts by on his bike. Compumang pulls his uzi out of his jacket and holds down the trigger.

"Aieeee!!"

A dozen holes appear in Wendel's back as he falls off his bike to his death. Compumang runs over and picks up the blood stained bike. He turns around and continues the chase.

"You're a man? You're gunna fucking die for this, faggot!"

"No, Bedlam!" screams Retribution, "Don't kill me!"

Bedlam picks up a hot iron and slams the pointed end into Retribution's forehead, killing him almost instantly.

Spear and Killahertz turn the corner and fly onto Elite Blvd.

"There they are!" Spear yells into the comlink.
"Ironghost is leaning out the window, I'll get him." Killa Hertz says.

The two motorcycles are half a block away from the two speeding cars. A dirty police car quickly speeds past the group on the opposite side of the road. The police car does a sharp U-turn a block away and jumps into the chase behind Spear and Killa Hertz.

"Must be Omicron." Spear laughs, "We're gunna waste these fuckers."

Omicron passes the cycles and Messiah and pulls up alongside Sodium's Dodge. He veers to the right, attempting to knock the car off the road.

"So this asshole wants to play games, does he?" Sodium mumbles.

Sodium sticks his head out the window and pulls the hood release. The car's front hood unlatches and pops up revealing a modified mini helicopter gun.

"Oh, my g..." is all Omicron has time to say.

Sodium steps on the break and spins the car into a backwards forty five degree spin facing the police car. A button on the dashboard empties the mini gun's ammo.

The police car stops moving.
The police car stops existing.
Omicron stops living.

Messiah tries to evade the smoldering reckage but runs over the side of it flipping his car over. The hood collapses over his head and snaps his neck. Both motorcycles quickly clear the wreckage and continue to chase the fleeing hitmen.

"Our escort here yet?" Sodium turns to Ironghost.
"No.. wait. Yes, there it is" Ironghost replies.

A small helicopter swooshes down from above the skyscrapers and flies past the yellow Dodge.

"Target the cycles." The captain says.
"Sir, Killa Hertz is part of Remorse." the gunner replies.
"The boss doesn't care. Keep the assasins alive."

Spear and Killa Hertz look up in horror as the chopper's guns come to life, spitting death in the form of lead into their quivering bodies. Both of them fall off their speeding bikes, and die instantly as they hit the pavement.

The Dodge continues down the street.

"They are arriving, sir."
"Let them in."

"You two let me down. I want the Blade Nation destroyed."
"Mistakes were made." Sodium replies.
"Not again. I can't have these same mistakes made when I send you two to eliminate Ice and Fire. You even killed members of this corporation, that's just not acceptable. I will have to reduce your pay."
"By how much?" blurts out Ironghost.
"Hundred grand."
"Uh. That's fine." Ironghost replies.
"Remember gentlemen, we want them erased. No traces. I don't want a repeat of what happened today. No explosions, or dead bodies everywhere. Just a simple gunshot wound to the head of the ice and fire seniors."
"Yes sir, Mister Radman."

You thought that was bloody? Wait until DAY TWO, scheduled for release in late October. Twice the gore, twice the guns, twice the sex. Send in your scenes to sodium@mymail.com AS YOUR MESSAGE, not an attachment.